Sometimes Life is Unfair

So, it's cancer awareness month, and I could go on a diatribe about the bazillion kinds of cancer that exsist that don't get all the attention but still take the lives of just as many people. But instead, I'd like to share something that happened to me today.

I have a co worker with cancer. She has been undergoing chemo since Spring, and she has never once complained. The only time I have ever seen her truly upset was in the beginning, when she first got her diagnosis. Since then, the grace, strength and bravery I have seen from her has been inspiring. Never a complaint, rarely a moment where she is down. Until today.

I was dropping something off at her desk today and found her on the phone crying. She hasn't been feeling well lately, and I was afraid she was talking to a dr and that something was wrong. So I gave her a quick shoulder squeeze, brought her some tissues and walked away. When she got off the phone she came to my desk in tears, so I grabbed the kleenex, and like true chicks we went into the ladies room for a heart to heart. She was not talking to a doctor, but that did not make the news good. The type of cancer she has, will never go away. She is going on to a maintainence program essentially, so that they can try to keep it from killing her, but it will not go into remission. She will not be cancer free. There are times, I am sure, where she must wonder if it is worth it. In the end, it's going to kill her anyway, it's just a matter of when. But still, always a smile, always a kind word, never a complaint.

I did not ask any questions. Perhaps I should have, but I figured she needed to unload, and I let her. And then I made her laugh a little, cause that's what I do. I don't think she shared with anyone else at work that this is never going to go away. For her, cancer is life. She has to deal with it, treat it, maintain it, and try not to dwell on it. How does anyone manage to do that? How can we continue to let cancer destroy the lives of not just the people with the disease, but the people around them? Their children, their parents, their siblings, their friends are all effected by this in ways I can only begin to imagine. There is no rhyme or reason to it, it just is what it is, and people have to figure out how to deal with it and decide if they are ready to accept death as an option. Who can decide to leave their child motherless? Who wouldn't fight to stay with the people they love? What kind of choice is that to give to someone?

She is of course, fighting. But entitled I think to her moments of blueness. I am glad I was there for her today, but I feel like I should be able to do more. I wish I could do more.

So, my message for the day...stop complaining, your respective lives could always be worse. Appreciate the mundane everyday things that annoy you, and treat others the way you want to be treated. Everyone has a story, some are worse then others, and just because you don't know it doesn't mean it's not there.

Finally a weekend of rest

The past few weeks have been, well, crazy in my house to say the least. We have been readjusting to hockey season, we got a new puppy (Sophie), we had to go to Jersey...finally we have a weekend to stay home and relax. We are heading to Target today, as I realized that I still haven't gotten Alex a Halloween coustume. He requested a pirate coustume, I hope they have something in his size. Tonight, we are going to bake some Halloween cookies. I can't wait to use the cookie cutters I got. Alex, and possibly Isabel will have a blast decorating the cookies. Tomorrow Damien has a day off, and we are heading to the pumpkin patch to go for a hay ride and do some pumpkin picking. Alex is excited for that, and so he has been talking about it all morning.

Hopefully hiliarity wil ensue at some point this weekend, and I will have more to report, but only time will tell.

Today I fell in love.

This afternoon Alex and I got home at the same time as Damien, so we all took Lola for a walk together. We were walking our usual route, when I noticed one of our neighbors outside with the teeniest, most adorable little puppy. Of course Alex wanted to see the puppy, as did I. So we went over to say hi. Our neighbor told us that she is fostering the puppy, they are looking for a good home for her. She has been calling the puppy Chloe, so that is how I will refer to her for now. Chloe just got here last night, from Mexico. Before I go any further, please let me say right now that no, she is not a Chihuahua. There are other dogs in Mexico. Don't tell Lola. Anyway, Chloe was too cute. She is a rescue dog, apparently there are lots of rescue organizations that go to Mexico to safe the strays down there because there are so many, the little bits of things that she told me make life for a dog there sound horrible. Of course I fell in love with this dog right away, as did Alex and Lola seemed to like her too. After getting Damien's consent I gave the neighbor our number, and she had the lady who rescued the dog call me.

So the lady calls, and there are no adoption fees! What?!?!? She is coming to meet us this week, and I think we are really going to help save this poor little dog. Maybe it seems crazy, but wait until you see her....