Sometimes Life is Unfair

So, it's cancer awareness month, and I could go on a diatribe about the bazillion kinds of cancer that exsist that don't get all the attention but still take the lives of just as many people. But instead, I'd like to share something that happened to me today.

I have a co worker with cancer. She has been undergoing chemo since Spring, and she has never once complained. The only time I have ever seen her truly upset was in the beginning, when she first got her diagnosis. Since then, the grace, strength and bravery I have seen from her has been inspiring. Never a complaint, rarely a moment where she is down. Until today.

I was dropping something off at her desk today and found her on the phone crying. She hasn't been feeling well lately, and I was afraid she was talking to a dr and that something was wrong. So I gave her a quick shoulder squeeze, brought her some tissues and walked away. When she got off the phone she came to my desk in tears, so I grabbed the kleenex, and like true chicks we went into the ladies room for a heart to heart. She was not talking to a doctor, but that did not make the news good. The type of cancer she has, will never go away. She is going on to a maintainence program essentially, so that they can try to keep it from killing her, but it will not go into remission. She will not be cancer free. There are times, I am sure, where she must wonder if it is worth it. In the end, it's going to kill her anyway, it's just a matter of when. But still, always a smile, always a kind word, never a complaint.

I did not ask any questions. Perhaps I should have, but I figured she needed to unload, and I let her. And then I made her laugh a little, cause that's what I do. I don't think she shared with anyone else at work that this is never going to go away. For her, cancer is life. She has to deal with it, treat it, maintain it, and try not to dwell on it. How does anyone manage to do that? How can we continue to let cancer destroy the lives of not just the people with the disease, but the people around them? Their children, their parents, their siblings, their friends are all effected by this in ways I can only begin to imagine. There is no rhyme or reason to it, it just is what it is, and people have to figure out how to deal with it and decide if they are ready to accept death as an option. Who can decide to leave their child motherless? Who wouldn't fight to stay with the people they love? What kind of choice is that to give to someone?

She is of course, fighting. But entitled I think to her moments of blueness. I am glad I was there for her today, but I feel like I should be able to do more. I wish I could do more.

So, my message for the day...stop complaining, your respective lives could always be worse. Appreciate the mundane everyday things that annoy you, and treat others the way you want to be treated. Everyone has a story, some are worse then others, and just because you don't know it doesn't mean it's not there.